Bliss Therapy Celebrates Two Years of Counselling

Two years ago we opened the doors to our boutique style private practice in Uptown Waterloo.  Since then our mission has been to help the people of Kitchener-Waterloo through the various challenges of love and life, and to develop and enjoy the fulfilling lives we know that they deserve! We are Bliss Individual and Relationship Therapy, and over the last 24 months our eight specialized therapists have counselled over 1000 amazing people.

Reaching this exciting milestone has us all reflecting on anniversaries and relationships in general.  No relationship is without work, and as therapists our first instinct is always to help, so to mark our anniversary we have put together the following eight tips for building strong partnerships and relationships.

Eight Tips for building blissful relationships:

1.  Toast the past and make goals together for the future.

"An anniversary is a time for celebration! Look back and reflect on the accomplishments and periods of growth. No matter what happened… you made it through. It is also an opportunity to set new intentions going forward in your relationship! Take a pause, take a breath, enjoy and celebrate this milestone! " - Kelly McDonnell-Arnold | Sexologist

2. Your relationship is unique. Don’t compare!

"Sex means something different and is different for everyone. Try not to compare your sex life to things you see or hear about from other people." - Lindsay Kenna | Relationship and Sex Therapist

3. Talk to your partner and share!

“The best way to keep a relationship going strong is to invite your partner on your journey. Communicate your wants and needs clearly, share your fears, and be vulnerable.” - Tammy Benwell | Therapist

4. Trust each other.

“Trust is the backbone of any relationship. If you can develop trust in yourself, you will be able to listen to your feelings and share them with your partner. There also has to be trust that your partner will be able to manage their own feelings in response to yours. With this trust, couples can learn from each other and grow together, rather than apart.” - Heather Anderson | Psychologist

5. Be awesome alone, be awesome together.

“It is important to give one another space inside of your relationship. The word space often scares people because they think their partner is unhappy. The reality is that you are hurting your relationship if each of you does not have the space to be an individual within your partnership. Having space creates healthy relationships. When you take the time to emotionally recharge as an individual, it takes the stress off your relationship and allows you to enjoy each other more as a couple.” - Tonya Beattie | Therapist

6. When you encounter difficult times, trust in each other and the relationship you have built.

“When tremendous loss is experienced in a relationship, such as the death of loved one, it can be difficult, even painful to support or be supported by your partner. Our inclination when someone is in pain may be to try to "fix it". The reality of grief is that it cannot be fixed; it is our natural response to the loss of someone or something we loved, and therefore it will be experienced. First, recognize that you and your partner will experience grief in your own unique way and it is important to honour that in one another. Provide space for your partner to experience and express their feelings without judgment or the desire to make it better. Finally, turn toward one another rather than the often-easier response, which is to turn away from the pain and hurt, and the relationship. Marriages and partnerships can survive profound loss, and it will take empathy, compassion and mutual respect for each other's experience of grief to help that happen.” - Melissa Reid | Grief Therapist

7.  No one wins when you keep score.

“I think that many busy couples struggle to avoid 'keeping score' of who is doing more than the other. Try to consider that even though you may be working at very different things or in different settings, you might both be working as hard as you can and doing a great job with your respective responsibilities.” - Heather Stuart | Therapist

8. Know that you are both right and both wrong. 

“In a relationship, both people can be exactly right and exactly wrong at the same time. Try to focus less on being "right" and more on understanding the space in between. You might ask yourself, "How can I better understand why my partner feels this way?" When we give up a little bit of power we have the opportunity to gain a little bit of compassion.” - Jenna Luelo | Therapist

As we here at Bliss head into our third year, our goal is to continue to grow and develop as a practice in order to best help you navigate through the challenges of life, both in your relationships and in your individual journeys!

Want to know more about Bliss Individual and Relationship Therapy’s team and journey?

Check out our infographic!

Tips for getting the most out of therapy!

Are you are wanting to understand yourself and your personal goals and values better? Develop skills for improving relationships? Or overcome certain problems? Live a happier more fulfilling life? 

While some individuals and/or couples may see a therapist out of necessity it is something that everyone can benefit from, like going to the gym, we don’t necessarily need it, but it has the potential to optimize our lives. I believe therapy is a gift people can give to themselves, their life and to the people they love. 


For some, making the decision to begin therapy can be scary, intimidating, confusing and stressful. There's good news, though! You can work through these feelings and truly get the most out of therapy. Join me for a quick look at some very easy steps that can make all of your therapy dreams come true!



Take your time selecting a therapist

You can't very well go to therapy without a therapist, right? Right! So, the first thing you have to do is find a therapist who meets your specific set of needs. It's super important to do this slowly and thoroughly to cover all of the bases to prevent you from feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. 

Start out by determining the type of therapist and approach you're interested in and whether or not they are professionally registered and/or licensed. From there you can create a list of those you'd like to reach out to along with a list of questions that you'd like to ask before scheduling a session. You can always skip this step if you're feeling adventurous or have received a trust worthy referral, by simply scheduling an initial session with the therapist(s) who strike your fancy based upon your research. 

I’ve always believed in the research showing that ‘fit’ is incredibly important in the therapy experience. There is a significant relationship between the therapeutic alliance and therapy outcome. Therefore, you should be able to connect with your therapist in order to make the best progress possible. It’s totally normal to go through an adjustment period at the beginning of your therapy journey, but don't be afraid to listen to your gut if it's telling you that you're not seeing the “right” therapist for the job.

Be open to the therapy process

Therapy is hard work! But it can also be enriching, run, and sometimes even uncomfortable. You will learn more about yourself and the world around you - your relationships, patterns, bad habits, and ultimately what is holding you back from living your best life. It requires you to be open to challenging yourself and making changes, which tends to leave many feeling vulnerable and resistant to the process. Just know that a certain level of discomfort isn't really a bad thing because breaking out of your comfort zone is the pathway to growth and the end result is worth it.

So, give it your best shot and try your very best to be receptive to both what your therapist is suggesting and reflecting back to you as well as your own self discoveries. Also keep in mind that your discomfort may ebb and flow a bit as you tackle new challenges in your sessions. This is totally normal, too, and all part of process as you venture into uncharted territories.

Set goals and do the work to meet them

Sure, you could just waltz into therapy without an idea of areas of your life that you'd like to improve. However, that makes it a bit difficult for your therapist to guide you through the different phases of therapy as well as making it virtually impossible for you both to gauge your progress.

So, take away some of the guess work by thinking of your goals and intentions for yourself both in and out of therapy. Set intentions for self-discovery and goals for changes you want to make personally, professionally, emotionally, relationally, sexually, behaviorally and be prepared to do the work. Doing so will enable both you and your therapist to set check in dates when your progress can be assessed and tweaks can be made to add new goals or modify existing ones accordingly.

Be honest with yourself and your therapist

Try to think of therapy as the time to be completely candid with yourself and with someone else who will hear what you're saying in an unbiased, nonjudgmental way. However, this can be an incredibly difficult thing to do since we are all naturally inclined to tell people what we think they want to hear or what we are trying to convince ourselves.

Fight the urge to fall into the censorship trap, though. Instead, go into your sessions with a mission to do your very best to drop your guard as you say anything and everything that comes to mind. Doing so is an effective way for both of you to work together and get to the bottom of the reason you're there in the first place. It may not always be fun to say and hear the things that will come from these brutally honest chats, but remember the end results are greater than the discomfort you feel in that moment.

Allow therapy to become part of your life

Therapy doesn't just start the moment you walk into your therapist's office and stop the moment you leave it. In fact, you need to fully immerse yourself in the process and practice mindfulness in order to get the most bang for your therapeutic buck.

This means doing your homework and holding yourself accountable day in and day out. If you're therapist suggests you journal, work on your relationships, practice breathing, read books or watch movies – do the work and really make the most out of the process. Make the most of it to maximize your results.

And remember....

Sincerely yours, Kelly

Less Thinking, More Sweating

By Bliss Specialist Heather Stuart

You may read articles, blogs or tweets writing about our cultural objectification of women and the sexualization of the female body.  I hear more and more women struggle as they work to feel comfortable in their body and with their figure in a society that scrutinizes and comments on the female form. Introduce those insecurities into the sometimes egocentric, often loud, mainly male dominated arena of the public gym and there is the potential for anxiety, over thinking and lowered self-esteem. Sadly these thoughts and cognitive distortions can be counter-productive to the benefits the gym can offer to anyone willing to participate.

For years I have slyly tried to spy on the personal trainers as they worked with their clients at my local gym. From a distance I would watch them and then try to imitate the exercises that they took their clients through. Though my solo version of the trainer’s activities seemed like a cost effective way to benefit from their knowledge without paying the could-buy-a-good-used-car price, my adaptation was saggy, soggier and generally lacking in proper form.  It wasn’t until I had struggled with lower back pain for ten years that I finally decided it was time to get a lot stronger.  I would have to stop spying on trainers like a hokey cartoon villain peering from around the squat rack, and legitimately enlist the help of a personal trainer. 

Training has been a growth experience for me and some of the things that I have discovered in my initial few months of training have genuinely surprised me. For one, I sweat even more than I thought that I did.  I credit this charming fact to an excess of body heat and the awkward nervousness I feel about most things relating to physical performance. Mark my words, despite the help of chalked hands, at some point I will slide off of a machine or drop some kind of dumbbell on my feet simply due to my sweaty, failing grip.

The other thing I discovered is how markedly different the bodily positions (necessary for proper weight training) are from the ways that I had become accustomed to holding my body. For example, while working on strengthening the chest muscles, it is necessary to puff out one’s chest like a superhero.  And when I say, “puff out,” I mean way out.

Many of my training sessions have been focused on the supreme importance of the gluteus muscles. While I certainly knew that within the body one’s rump is a muscular powerhouse, I had no idea that the key to some exercises involved sticking out that rump with wild abandon! After finally letting go of my self-consciousness and doing what comes naturally in order to move heavy weight (e.g. letting your bum muscles expand and exert control), I almost burst with laughter when my trainer exclaimed, “That’s it! Do that every time.” The caboose that I had always tried to camouflage was going to actually come in handy? Well I’ll be darned.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that sexualizes women (and men, but particularly women) in all spaces.  As a public space often characterized by randy pop music, roving eyes, and tiny outfits the gym can be interpreted as an arena that sexualizes women, perhaps more than any other. However, it also presents people with the opportunity to focus upon building strength. The gym can create an environment to empower ourselves to let go of self-consciousness and open up to the opportunity to become stronger than we might have ever thought possible.

Show up, stick your stuff out, and be proud of your fearlessness!

Heart Your Parts

By Bliss Specialist Jess Crowe,

Last week was sexual and reproductive health awareness week.  For those of us, like myself, who are excited by all things sexual reproductive health related, this was a week to be celebrated.  However, as a sexual health lover I do realize that not everyone shares by passion or enthusiasm for this very exciting time of year. While I think the messaging and intent behind "heart your parts” is very sex positive, I do appreciate that not all of us are in a position to heart our parts; so at the very least, my intent in writing this small piece is to talk briefly about how we can take care of our parts!  First things first, let’s name them.  I am talking about vulvas, vaginas, breasts, penises and testicles!  Regardless of gender or sexual expression taking care of our parts is integral to our overall health and wellness experience.  Here are a few keys to taking care of your parts:

For those of us with vulvas, vaginas, cervixes and the like, it is important to get regular pelvic exams and pap tests from a health care provider.  Best practice guidelines recommends doing this by age 25 and then having one every 3 years to monitor changes.  It can also be recommended once a person becomes sexually active and this does not have to mean penetrative intercourse only.   Ensure that if you experience any pain, discomfort, itching, bumps, sores or see changes in vaginal fluids that you touch base with a health care provider.  If sexually active use caution and practice safer sex.  Health care providers can test for Sexually Transmitted Infections when going in for a PAP test, but might not automatically, so if you want to be tested ensure that you are asking to be!

For those with Penises and testes: Practicing regular testicular exams is something that is recommended to start by age 15.  If you ever notice swelling, pain in either the scrotum or penis make sure to see a health care provider.  As well, if you ever notice bumps or sores or some penile fluid or discharge coming from the penis this can also be a good time to see a health care provider.  Again, if you are sexually active it is also a good idea to get regular STI testing to ensure that you and your reproductive parts stay healthy!

Beyond just “taking care of our parts” in a medical sense, there is a lot we can do to take care of our parts in a wellness sense as well.  I work with all different types of clients who experience varying degrees of emotional reactions to their “parts”.  This can be seen in clients dealing with vaginismus, anorgasmia, erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation, varying degrees of gender(ed) expression; reaction to sexual abuse, and body image concerns among others.  Therapy can be a helpful venue for people to explore their relationship to their body, gather psycho and sexual education and gain a sense of empowerment and deeper connection to self.  So, in the spirit of keeping our enthusiasm alive in the realm of sexual and reproductive health I wish you a happy, healthy and empowered journey on the path to knowing and taking care of all your parts. 

Yours,

Jess